not in mood + feel tired

tis few days i was like not in mood..my whole person like controlled by him....keep thinking him..keep thinking wat is in his mind...i really dunno...hopefully he won't give me hope n then let me drop into a very worse situation....not only tat..i'm not feeling well as well..my throat is feeling like not comfortable...9 days more until my last paper n he won't have any paper after tml..so he won't be in rmit anymore.....juz wan to do something in tis few days before i can't see him anymore.....dd...i juz hope to talk to u more before i leave n not seeing u for 2 years i guess...i dunno how to express my feelings but when i see him i will like silence n din talk anything to him...i really pray hard tat i can talk 2 him f 2 f then it will be comfortable for me..but i guess i will be silent for awhile before i talk anything to him...going back to malaysia next friday n ocf still on...i guess he will still go.....but definite;y can't celebrate birthday wif they all including him.....really really wish to talk to him in this 2 weeks...><..haiz..